She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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