I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
