So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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