there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
