I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
