I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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