So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
