i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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