I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you traded sex for a burrito?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
