she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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