I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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