Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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