So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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