If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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