Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize