nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
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Be still, my beating vagina.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
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I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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