even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
