The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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