i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
