Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
