he thought i was a dude.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
