I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
