Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
