I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
