What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
cat food counts as protein by the way
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Tornado booty call.. dedication
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
