this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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