How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
