I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
