wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
