So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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