I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
