i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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