i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
