In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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