I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
