Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
