i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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