Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
