my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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