And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
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He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
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I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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