he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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