I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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