she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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