You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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