im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
