I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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