I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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