Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
