Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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