so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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