You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
