Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
