Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
