All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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