How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize