so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
