I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
