how hairy? two words: wookie tits
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize