He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
