We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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