I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
