Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
