sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
